


Built For Sin - Twisted Halos

by Phenobarbital



Series: Built For Sin Series [3]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, M/M, Post Manga Canon Deviation, Realistic, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 10:44:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6151039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phenobarbital/pseuds/Phenobarbital
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is anger in the lines at the corners of Alphonse's stunning eyes, and resentment in the curve of his kissable mouth...and Edward is not afraid of it, not as he’d once been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Built For Sin - Twisted Halos

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Fullmetal Alchemist Anime
> 
> This is an insert to the Built For Sin series. Essentially part 2.5. If your are a returning reader then thank you for your continued interest in my story. If you are a new reader and haven't read the first or second part of this story, I'd suggest you do because otherwise this will make very little sense to you.
> 
> \- This one shot serves as foreshadowing in a sense. You can expect the tone going forward in part 3 (which is underway) to be similar and a continuation of what you will read here. IE: The Elric's go to Xing, and part 3 will unravel from there.  
> \- Part 3 finally has a definitive plot and an outcome and so I am able to work on it steadily.  
> \- I hope I have not disappointed. It has been a while.  
> \- I apologize for any mistakes, this is not beta-read  
> \- As per the usual, sensitive readers please tread lightly  
> \- Song lyrics belong to Framing Hanley

* * *

  **3 Weeks Later**

* * *

_You know that_  
_We are all a little wicked_

* * *

Alphonse decided that he and Ed should stay over in _Shaoxing_ as one of their stops on the way to the capital of Xing, _Jīngshī_ , where the Emperor's palace was located.

When he'd originally made the journey to Xing by himself that first time, he hadn't stayed in the quiet town of _Shaoxing,_ but he'd visited there at a later stage during his time in Xing. The town was actually an hour off route from the main road that would take them to _Hongcun, Tongli, Zhujiajiao_ and finally _Xidi,_ and from there they would travel by carriage to the capital city.

And they still would, obviously, but at the moment, Alphonse wanted to take the detour because not only was the town filled with a wealth of old infrastructure, merchants selling beautiful rare wares, stunning mountainous landscapes, views and natural forest borders, but it also had very friendly and unobtrusive people.

Most importantly though, it was **not** a tourist or trade route so the town only had travellers who were Xingese passing through or visiting the town, the village in general didn't see a lot of traffic and they likely hosted guests from the west once in a blue moon.

So that was what Alphonse explained to Ed when they'd mounted two rental horses at the final stop from Amestris' trade line railway that passed through the dessert. And despite Edward's skeptical look about the idea of going out of their way to visit some 'hole in the wall, town' –his actual words-, as usual, when Alphonse had asked really nicely and started talking about how much he'd wanted to go there again since the last time he'd been in Xing, Ed had given in.

Al had an ulterior motive too, and he suspected that Ed knew as much. They maintained the illusion of reasonable doubt for one another, but it was just that, an illusion. Al knew Edward was probably wise to his not so subtle persuasions, just as Al knew that Edward wasn't often interested in being persuaded into anything.

And as had become the norm in the past few weeks, the older blonde didn't bother to address the underlying ploy and Alphonse knew that meant Ed was going to go along with whatever Al wanted.

It was frustrating to have to play games, but like any relationship, there were kinks in their dynamic, _especially_ in their –incestuous- dynamic. And some were more complicated and problematic than others. Still, Alphonse was hopeful –always hopeful- that they could work it out.

As it were, no westerners and a small quiet town meant less prying eyes and a bit more _privacy._ And while Alphonse wasn't naïve enough to think Ed would hold his hand in public, or stupid enough to consider even suggesting it, he hoped Ed would at least be a little more relaxed with his public proximity issues.

* * *

After an hour and some minutes of traveling, they arrived in _Shaoxing_ and left their horses with the vendor/guide who'd accompanied them to the town and he departed only after telling them where in _Shaoxing_ they could rent more horses the following day. Alphonse estimated the time at that point to be around 8 PM, since there was a time difference of several hours when that far East of Amestris and he had to account for that.

Deeming it not too late, he managed to talk Ed into walking around with him for a while before they found a place to stay for the night. All of the shops were closed at that time, but the weather was pleasant and the atmosphere peaceful.

 _Shaoxing_ was a quiet place, the houses lit mostly by oil lamps or gas lamps, shops by fire lanterns and the streets by the moonlight. The buildings were well lived-in and sturdy, which gave the town an interesting feeling of being older than it was. Their abundance of stone and white painted walls glowed under the evening moonlight, each house had dark roof shingles and high gray brick foundations with wooden beams holding up the second floors of the multiple semi-detached homes. Most homes also had wooden balconies overlooking the water canals that ran beneath and between every main road in the town. There was greenery within the town as well, not just sand and stone. Trees hung over the roads and over the canals too, large and overgrown, swaying hauntingly with the evening breeze and prettily during the day. The white walls and water in the canals reflected the moonlight starkly and the water's steady, quiet flow filled the town with the soothing sounds of the current, which was kept constantly moving by the town's main water source, a large river far in the _Shaoxing_ mountains.

Alphonse looked so forward to showing Ed the town properly come morning. When Mei had first shown it to him he'd thought it was one of the most understated villages in Xing of all that he'd seen. About Mei though, he didn't bother to mention to Ed that she'd been the one to show him the town, it just felt like it'd be an unnecessary detail. And besides, Ed should have assumed as much on his own since Mei had been the one to show Alphonse just about everything he'd seen while living in Xing.

Although, he doubted Ed did, in fact, if he ever gave much thought to that, or to the fact that Al had lost his virginity to Mei, he never mentioned it.

Alphonse didn't really expect him to, there was no reason why Ed should care about that.

Presently, they were walking along one of the main roads of the small town in the direction of an overnight boarding house that the horse merchant had told them about. Apparently it offered travellers a place to stay for one or two nights at most, which would do just fine. When Alphonse had visited there he hadn't stayed the night, so he was glad the merchant was able to help them out.

Mei had suggested they didn't stay over because the town was small and isolated enough from outsiders that they were still strict and traditional about not hosting unmarried men and women. Surprisingly though, many of the other small villages that Al had visited with Mei hadn't been that way. Xing, as Alphonse had come to know it, was a place with a mixture of people who were vast and varied in their open mindedness. Interestingly enough, in any town or city where there were Eunuchs and concubines, there was leniency about sexuality, varying types of debauchery and an overall acceptance of hedonism, so long as you knew where to go.

Alphonse was hopeful that he and Ed would travel to one of those towns when they eventually went further east of the palace. He had a particular place in mind too, it was a town that had an 'anything goes' sort of policy, so long as whatever you did was kept private. He remembered how Mei had insisted they didn't stay long in that particular city, claiming that being there made her uncomfortable. But even before he'd realized he wanted Ed, the concept of such a libertine place had genuinely interested Alphonse.

So later, when he'd decided he wanted to go away somewhere that he could be open with Edward, that was the first place that came to mind because it seemed like a good trial run for what he had in mind. Alphonse had yet to tell Ed about it though…there were quite a few things he had yet to tell Ed about with regards to Xing.

He breathed in the cool night air quietly, exhaling after a short moment and clearing all the serious and loaded thoughts from his mind in favor of focusing instead, on just the fact that they were out of Amestris and finally taking a break, all the rest would come later.

They were walking almost shoulder to shoulder, carrying their luggage and nothing else. The few people who were still out on the roads didn't pay them too much attention since they had the hoods of their dark travel coats, Ed's black and Al's gray, pulled over their heads, so they blended into the night fairly well.

He heard Ed curse softly and the sound of flesh smacking flesh so he glanced over to see his sibling rubbing at his cheek with a frown. Ed noticed Alphonse looking at him curiously and he sighed,

"All this fucking water…god-damned mosquitos." he grumbled, scratching at his jaw line with blunt nails.

Al just gave the older blonde a lopsided smile and an eye roll,

"Come on, Ed, stop being such a grouch." he suggested flatly, altogether far too used to Ed's complaining.

Ed snorted, scratching at his face again,

"You're telling me they're _not_ biting you, not even one damned mosquito?" he scratched at his elbow next, which made no sense since his coat sleeve was too thick and loose fitting for something to have bitten him there, unless of course, it'd found its way into the sleeve.

That would suck for Edward.

Alphonse shook his head, trying not to find that thought too amusing since Ed looked really irritated,

"If they are, I haven't noticed." he admitted. But it didn't matter if he was getting bitten, he just wouldn't scratch at them like Ed was so persistently inclined to do. Ed unsurprisingly grumbled again,

"No shit, it's because they're all biting **me**."

Alphonse couldn't help snickering at Ed's cross pouting and for a second, he braved stepping close enough to Ed so that he could speak quieter to him, near his ear,

"I'll give you massage later if you want." their shoulder luggage bumped together when he stepped nearer and Ed turned his head to look at Alphonse, their faces just short of being decently close for brothers.

Ed's eyes were half lidded and he looked unimpressed,

"How is that gonna' prevent me from being bitten?" but his tone was lower, flirtatious almost, and it made Alphonse grin from the sound of it alone, for the fact that Ed wasn't moving away but walking with him, teasing with him. Their gaits were slightly crooked as their bags bumped together, sand and stone crunching under their booted feet,

"I'll use a repellant oil-…" Alphonse was saying when Ed cut him off with an abrupt and amused snort, his walk swaying off to the side a bit before he bumped bags with Al again,

"That is _not_ sexy, Al." he mumbled quietly, a half smile on his face as he shook his head.

Alphonse was still smiling, because the very fact that Ed acknowledged his attempt at offering something sexy meant that sex of some sort was on the table that night. He found himself hoping above hope right then that there would be no other people staying over in the overnight house, or at least not many anywhere near whatever room they got. Because Ed had been on his case about inappropriate times and places and surrounding people ever since Alphonse had tried to give him a hand job in their _private_ train cabin during the trip from Amestris to Ishval.

Al pursed his lips, anticipating what the night might hold as he squinted into the near distance, seeing they were just around the corner from their destination,

"It's lavender scented, so don't knock the idea just yet." he teased with a fresh grin, his bottom lip held between his teeth and his eyebrows bobbing once.

Ed raised his eyebrows then, affecting his trademark blasé expression but he didn't say anything and Alphonse just kept smiling, leading the way once they reached the next corner and he was sure it was the right place.

The overnight housing was on a larger property than most of the other buildings. Behind the small main front house there were six other small double story buildings standing detached but uniformly close together. Looking over the signs hung outside on a wooden post, Alphonse read that three of the buildings were for male occupants and the other three for women. Each room could sleep up to four people but since the rooms were only for sleeping and short stays, they probably weren't spacious, or at least they didn't look it from the outside.

When they walked inside the dimly lit front house, the elderly man at the 'reception' area had to squint at Ed and Al, but whether he could actually make them out was anyone's guess. His face was terribly wrinkled, like that of someone who'd spent their life in the sun laboring, and he seemed to have a cataract on one of his eyes.

He greeted them in Xingese and Al was the one who spoke to him, being more fluent in the language than Ed was, and it was easy to guess that the old man didn't speak a lick of Amestrian.

While Alphonse organized a top floor room and two sleeping mats for them, Edward was looking around at the admittedly unimpressive waiting area. It wasn't tidy or fancy or even welcoming, but then, _Shaoxing_ wasn't a town that catered to sightseeing travellers, so it made sense.

Alphonse took note of the fact that the rack of padlock keys behind the low counter was still mostly full. He counted two other sets of keys besides their own to be missing from the twelve sets, which meant that nine rooms were still unoccupied and the place was practically empty. He felt giddy –and increasingly horny- because of how well things were turning out.

When the time came to pay, Edward had wandered back over to the counter and as he reached for his wallet where it was tucked into his coat's inner pocket, he paused and leaned against the counter as he looked at Alphonse,

"This place isn't a trade or tourist town right?" he asked quietly and Al nodded, reaching into his shoulder satchel while listening to Ed, "Al, we have no Xingese currency on us, we haven't come across an exchange yet." he pointed out, glancing at the old man who had no idea what they were saying as he waited with his hand out.

Alphonse hadn't been worried about that, but he understood why Ed was. So as he'd been intending to, he extracted a full pouch of coins from his satchel and held it up to show it to Ed,

"I have savings from when I lived in Xing, Ed," he said as he opened the leather tie and dropped several coins out onto the counter, starting to count out the amount needed, "I never got around to exchanging it to Cenz in Amestris." he added as he handed over the correct amount to the old man.

Ed picked up one of the round coins, which was a chalky gold color and he gave it a dubious look. It was thin, lightweight and had a square hole in the middle of it with Xingese text symbols embossed in the metal. Alphonse retied and put the pouch back into his bag and only when he picked up his luggage and the keys from the counter, did Ed absently pocket the coin, stand up straight and grab his own bags up from the floor,

"You could have let me know." he mumbled, unable to help complaining about something or the other and Al just sighed quietly,

"You worry too much, Ed." he commented dully in response.

They waited for the old man to retrieve and hand them two rolled up sleeping mats and then Al turned to Ed as the old man handed the older blonde two small flat pillows which came with the mats, and a lit lantern.

Ed's expression was one of mild confusion and Alphonse expected there'd be more complaining before the night was out. Undeterred, he traded one of the mats he was holding for one pillow from Ed and then he adjusted himself so he could carry everything comfortably before he gestured for Ed to follow him out through the side door of the front house.

Alphonse checked the number carved into the piece of wood attached to the key and then he led the way to the second building meant for male boarders, making his way to the narrow wooden staircase at the side that led to the upstairs room.

They'd just started to climb the steps when Ed asked,

"Are we supposed to _sleep_ on these?" he sounded irritable at the very idea of it.

Al glanced back at Ed, who was ascending the stairs just behind him and holding the lantern up awkwardly,

"Why, yes, Ed. Were you expecting a hotel quality double bed?" he asked with some humor and much sarcasm.

"Noooo," Ed drew the word out, irate as well as sardonic now as his boots thudded a bit loudly on the stairs, "but I'd have liked _at least_ a fucking mattress with foam or sponge, not just a flat piece of wood." he griped –Al rolling his eyes to the sky- and then added, "Please tell me that Ling will have actual beds to sleep on?"

They reached the top of the stairs and walked onto the small entrance balcony overlooking the quiet, walled in courtyard area below, which was just blocks of concrete and sand and a few trees and bushes.

Alphonse nodded at his brother when they came to stand at the dark wood sliding door to the room,

"Yup, the palace has proper beds, I promise." he informed with a small smile but a flat voice as he set all of his bags down onto the wooden floor before crouching down with the keys in hand.

Ed, of course, mumbled his opinion on that revelation, saying something that sounded like 'it damn well better fucking have' as Alphonse opened the pad lock and removed it. He stood up then and slid the large wooden door open, revealing a small unfurnished square room which thankfully was wasn't too stuffy inside.

The room had several small high wooden shuttered windows which were presently closed, but due to the lack of a glass barrier, it allowed for air to seep in through the slatted gaps and ventilate the room.

"Wow, it's worse than a prison cell." Ed commented and Al swore his eyes would roll right out of his head,

"Really, Ed?" he asked with a humorless huff, feeling a bit exasperated at Ed's constant bitching, but then he quickly tried to salvage the mood by teasing with a tight smirk, "Have you become so spoiled?" he asked as he moved his things inside after Ed had entered.

The older blonde dumped his luggage down unceremoniously in the nearest corner of the room, along with the mat, only holding onto the lantern and the small pillow which was tucked under his arm.

He shrugged, closing the sliding door after Alphonse had walked in with his arms full,

"I wouldn't say so," he said flatly, "because seriously Al, Briggs' lock up was more comfortable than this place, and we got to sleep there for _free_."

Al had set his bags down and he bit back a sigh as he crouched down again at the door, slipping the pad lock onto the inside catch and securing it, choosing to count to twenty in his head before responding to Ed. The older blonde was really making it difficult not to get irritable with him.

' _Maybe that's the point…he wants us to fight so we don't do anything else tonight?'_ he thought with a frown as he remained crouching and quickly unlaced his travel boots. He dismissed the idea though, Alphonse instead chose to believe that wasn't the reason, rather he assumed Edward was just cranky from a long day of travelling. Because sure, things between them were far from perfect and it still took a little winding up to get Ed going in terms of sex most days, but otherwise their new relationship was pretty good.

And pretty good was better than no good, right?

It was just a few kinks…they'd work it out, or if they never did…well, Alphonse was surprising himself with how little he'd learned he could get by on.

And, however glaringly unhealthy that was, it hardly mattered anymore.

Alphonse stood up and toed his way out of his boots, leaving him to walk around in his gray socks as he placed the boots neatly beside the door. He knew Edward had watched him attach the lock and probably hadn't thought it was necessary to lock it, but since he'd said nothing, it meant he was still open to _persuasion_.

Al didn't bring it up right away though, he just went about untying the rope around his sleeping mat before bringing the mat more or less to the center of the small room.

He let it unravel so it hit the floor on the underside with an audible clack and only then did he look at Ed, and seeing the older blonde's still moody expression just made him sigh anyway,

"Yeah, Briggs was better, but it was also western, this is not." he pointed out in a bored tone, hoping Ed would just stop comparing where they were to where they'd been.

He crouched down again to adjust the mat so it was laid out flat and once Al was done, Edward dropped his pillow onto it, set the lantern down and then went to get the other mat,

"Ah, well, it's just for sleeping right? And it's only a couple of hours..." he finally resigned himself to the fate of sleeping more or less on the floor and Al watched him grab his rolled up mat, untying the rope with a few sharp tugs and then doing as Alphonse had, he laid it out beside the other mat.

Alphonse didn't comment on what might have been a hint that Ed was tired, or might have been a vague question about whether they'd just be sleeping. Sometimes Ed was too obscure to read and it was frustrating but Alphonse navigated it as best he could under the circumstances.

He decided rather, to wait for an opening to flirt or make a move and in the meantime he busied himself with fetching his own pillow from where he'd left it on top of his suitcase. Then he stood by and watched Edward balancing on his knees and one hand as he placed his mat flat out and a foot apart, but in line beside Al's.

Al approached when Ed was done and he dropped the pillow onto the mat, glancing at the older blonde who was crouching down and unlacing his boots. Al trailed his eyes over Ed, considering his options, before choosing that moment to walk over to the nearest wall mounted fire lamp beside the door. He glanced around, knowing that where there were fire lamps, there'd be matches, and he spotted a small wooden container with said matches in it, and also a piece of flint sitting beside it on a nearby windowsill.

Alphonse retrieved it, striking a match to light the lamp and it brightened the small room quite well all on its own without needing the other three lamps or the lantern, so he didn't bother to light the others. After he placed the matches and flint down, he turned to face Ed again, the older blonde having kicked his boots off to the side of his mat –untidily- and was presently removing his black travelling coat.

Al did likewise then, and once they'd shed their long coats they were left in their waist jackets they'd worn underneath, Al's a gray denim and Ed's was dark brown leather. It had become colder when night fell on the train through the dessert and they'd been forced to layer their clothes to a certain extent.

Alphonse really liked the way the leather jacket looked on Ed, he'd been surprised when Ed had picked it out for himself during their necessary shopping prior to their trip to Xing. But then, he shouldn't have been surprised, after all, Ed had always liked form fitting leather, Al had just never _appreciated_ it quite so much before. The jacket Ed wore right then was well fit when unzipped and when closed up –as it presently was- it was a tight fit, especially to Ed's lean body. It was a dark chocolate brown color and it sat just below Ed's waistline in length, clinging just right but not uncomfortably to his arms and torso. The collar could fold down or be turned up and buttoned closed at the neck, another style Ed had always been partial too. It wasn't gaudy either, there were no excess buckles or accessories to it, just two zipper pockets on each side of his hips and another pocket over the left breast with a zip and button flap.

Alphonse was aware that he was staring, but they were alone so he didn't care, in fact, he saw a good opportunity to insert himself into Ed's personal space. So he walked over to Ed with quiet steps, his socked feet sliding noiselessly against the dark wood floor, bringing him to stand before his older brother just as Ed unfastened the neck of his jacket.

And Al never failed to be amazed by how unintentionally sexy he was. Ed's hair had been braided for the entire trip so it was relatively neat in the back, but his bangs were a windswept mess and his lightly tanned skin was day worn and glowing a warm caramel color in the fire light, which also gave an additional fiery amber glimmer to Ed's shining golden eyes.

Alphonse didn't hesitate, and he also no longer had to ask for permission as he reached up and pinched the black zip tag of Ed's jacket between his thumb and forefinger, leaning in at the same time to press a kiss to Ed's lips. It was a preliminary touch of their mouths, a light puckering of their lips as he slid the zipper down. And once it snicked off the bottom and the jacket fell open, Al used his other hand to part one flap and run his hand underneath the warm leather, along Ed's side, above the soft cotton of his white T shirt.

After the light kiss, when Al opened his eyes and found Ed watching him with a half lidded gaze and a subtle smile, he smiled too, their lips still touching. And when Ed didn't say anything or move away, Alphonse kissed him again, stepping closer and inhaling softly through his nose as he moved his hands to Ed's shoulders beneath the jacket so that he could push it backwards and off. Edward pressed into the kiss, parting his lips slightly as the press of their mouths went from one kiss, into two and then three and again and again, filling the small enclosed space with soft wet sounds and equally soft breathing.

Edward shook the jacket off, sliding it down off of his arms and it was chilly enough that his skin was lightly speckled with goosebumps almost instantly after it came off. He broke off from the kiss to watch where he tossed his jacket, making sure it landed on top of his bags and Alphonse quickly pulled his own jacket off, dropping it onto his sleeping mat disinterestedly as Ed turned back to him, directly into another kiss.

They touched tongues a few times, their lips sealing and parting with quick kisses as Alphonse put his arms around Ed's shoulders and pressed close, the front of his body flush against Ed's and their fading individual body warmth was being quickly replaced by their rapidly increasing shared sexual heat.

Edward ran his hands under Alphonse's long sleeve beige sweater, his cool hands sliding over warm skin as he sucked on Al's lower lip and held him close with his other arm around Al's back. And it honestly didn't matter how many times Edward touched him freely and willingly, it was exhilarating every time to be able to know that side of Ed. And if Alphonse was just a little too comfortable about having had the power of influence over Ed to make it happen, he didn't read too much into it.

He hadn't indulged in self-reflection since before Edward had decided he wanted to be with him, and after what happened the last time he'd taken a good look at himself, it seemed like a better idea to avoid it.

Al made himself part from Ed's numerous, lightly pressured and moist kisses in order to take a step onto Ed's sleeping mat. Leading things where he wanted them to go, he took a hold of the front of Ed's green traveling khakis and belt buckle before dropping into a crouch and then falling back into a sitting position with just enough of a tug that Ed had to follow his momentum

The older blonde went with it, dropping onto his knees as carefully as he could between Al's legs, which parted specifically to accommodate Ed as Alphonse lied back on the uncomfortable mat and brought Ed down to him with a hand on his shoulder. Edward leaned over him, balancing above Al on hands and knees and the once they were more or less comfortably settled, Ed lowered himself to one elbow and leaned down to resume kissing Alphonse.

Alphonse exhaled a quiet, excited breath when Edward immediately, and almost roughly, licked into his mouth, and he sucked Al's tongue into his mouth before drawing back and doing it again, changing the angle of his next kiss and pressing Alphonse's head back into the mat briefly with the heated force of it. Ed slowly lowered himself so that his weight was settled on top of Alphonse, their hips aligned and their concealed erections finding slight friction in the grinding they were both unconsciously doing.

Their carefully quieted breathing was still audible, but it wouldn't be heard beyond the small room, nor would their kissing and Alphonse hoped, nor would the sound of their fucking, because that was what he wanted ultimately.

Alphonse ran his hands over and down Edward's back, lower and lower, gliding them over Ed's backside and then up slowly and down again along his sides, before Al moved one hand up between them to caress over Edward's throat, fingers touching lightly to Ed's Adams apple and his jaw line as their mouths moved together.

He then slotted his other hand between their grinding lower halves as much as he could, palming at Edward's cock through his pants and Ed moaned softly into his mouth before breaking off from the kiss and biting his lower lip absently, looking down at Alphonse through half lidded eyes. Ed breathed quietly and tightly as he lowered himself onto his other elbow as well so that his arms were bracketing Alphonse's head and he slid both of his hands into Al's hair, lightly gripping the short blonde locks and dipping his head to press his mouth in moist kisses along Alphonse's jaw, and then to the underside with wider, sucking kisses laved over the front of Al's throat.

Al exhaled a quiet moan, tipping his head back and rubbing harder at Ed's erection. Feeling the firmness and strain of it against his hand, Alphonse figured he'd gotten Ed worked up enough to move things along. He was enjoying Ed kissing at his neck, he enjoyed any kissing that had to do with Ed, but Alphonse wanted more right then than just heavy petting. It had been three and a half days of traveling and no touching and he was _aching_ for Edward.

So he turned and inclined his head, kissing and then catching the lobe of Ed's ear between his teeth, making sure to let Edward hear his strained, soft moan as he hooked his fingers into the leather strap of Ed's belt and slipped it free from the first loop,

"Ed," he said against his brother's ear, warm and raspy, "the lube is…in my bag." he breathed out.

And he knew there would be no penetrative sex without lube, there never was, so he was _always_ prepared.

Ed drew back from kissing his neck and when he leveled with Al again he pressed two more soft, suckling kisses to Al's top and then bottom lip, in reaction to which Alphonse arched up into him and exhaled shakily.

Ed smirked at him, one fine blonde eyebrow hiked up in question,

"You sure you wanna' have sex on a floor mat?" and his voice was just blatantly sexy at that point. Al had become more accustomed to that particular timbre in the last few weeks, the sound of Ed's sex voice, and it was as intoxicating as the older blonde himself was.

Alphonse nodded, slightly distracted by the increasing heat between them and Ed's bangs tickling his face,

"Yeah…I'm sure." he answered shortly before kissing Ed's mouth again and hurrying his pace of unbuckling Ed's belt.

Edward leaned his weight on his left arm and his automail knee in order to accommodate Alphonse's hands between their bodies, giving him room to open the belt and unfasten Ed's pants. He was acquiescing but Al could tell he was also considering the situation, as he always did, thinking about whether it was a good idea.

He yanked Ed's belt free with an abrupt tug and dropped it to the side of them before leaning up to kiss the front of Ed's throat while starting to unfasten the buttons and zipper of the older blonde's pants,

"Ed, it's fine, there's no one staying beneath us…and I'll be quiet." he whispered the last part with a teasing grin, his tone promising that he meant it.

Ed sighed quietly as he tangled the fingers of his right hand in Alphonse's hair,

"It isn't very comfortable, Al." he mumbled, expressing his token concern even though Al already knew he would be getting his way. Still, the concern and reassurance was part of their tedious dynamic, so he played along,

"And I'm not made of glass, Ed." Al responded with a necessarily sweet smile as he slipped his hand into Ed's now open pants and beneath his underwear, so that his hand was on Ed's erection, skin to skin, stroking.

Edward bit back a moan and his fingers in Al's hair tightened slightly, his eyes lowering to near closed from the firm press and pull along his cock as Alphonse languidly kissed his throat again. He slipped his other hand under the loose hanging material of Ed's shirt, his fingers sliding over warm skin and his blunt nails scraping over Ed's taut abdomen muscles,

"Come on, Ed…you know you want to…" Al teased boldly, rubbing his palm over the head of Ed's erection as best he could within the confines of his clothes, smearing sticky, moist pre-come into his hand.

Edward let out a quiet breathy noise at the sensation, his eyes closing briefly and his hips twitching into the touch as he pursed his lips and nodded once,

"Yeah, alright…" he gave in –as expected- and Al smirked, triumphant and pleased.

Edward shifted then, getting properly onto his knees before standing up and going over to Al's luggage near the door, holding his pants up with one hand as he walked,

"Top compartment?" he asked as he crouched down to look for the lube.

Alphonse quickly lied back on the mat and undid his belt and pants fastenings,

"Yup." he said as he lifted his hips and shoved his pants and underwear off in one go, unfazed by the chill in the air.

He'd just tossed the bundle of clothes onto his own sleeping mat when Ed found the lube and turned around to come back to Al. The older blonde raised his eyebrows at the sight of Al, now naked from the waist down, but he said nothing as he pulled his shirt up over his head and dropped it onto Al's sleeping mat.

What was there to say anyway?

Edward got down on his knees again between Al's spread legs and he leveled himself over Al at the same time as he popped the cap of the lube. Balanced on one arm, Ed leaned down and went immediately to kissing him. Alphonse got lost in the sensation of sliding his tongue along Ed's, crossing between their mouths over and over as he lay flat on his back, but when he felt Ed's first lubed finger touch his anus, his attention refocused and he accommodated Ed by raising his hips, his legs rising and opening wider.

He'd become pleasantly used to the sensation of Ed's long fingers sliding into his body and it was easy to relax and accept the prepping digit. By the time Ed added a second finger they still hadn't stopped kissing, because Al loved kissing and he thought Ed actually did too, and the older blonde was so fucking good at it.

Alphonse made a curt breathy moan, his thoughts derailed abruptly when Ed's fingers crooked up just so inside of him, the first direct stimulation made to his prostate before Ed slid a third finger in and started to properly stretch him, widening his fingers inside of Al's rectum to open him up. Al was moving his hands everywhere he could touch on Ed, but mostly he went between sliding his hands into Ed's unfastened pants, one into the back to grope his ass and the other into the front to make the occasional stroke over his sex, to build up anticipation and pre-come.

They stopped kissing when Ed removed his fingers. The older blonde's pupils were blown and his reddened lips remained parted to every quieted, hot inhale and exhale he made, his untidy bangs framing his face as he looked at Al and slowly tracked his eyes down between them. Ed then sat back on his legs to pour some lube into his right palm, before he snapped the bottle shut and placed it back on the floor beside the mat. He slicked his cock up with a generous amount of lube and a few short strokes and squeezes and Alphonse watched while absently touching his own erection, keeping his thighs parted, hitching his legs up onto Ed's waist and tugging him forward gently, impatiently.

Edward went easily, allowing himself to fall over Alphonse again, holding himself up on one arm and leaning down to swipe his tongue over Al's nipple while with his other hand he pushed his pants and underwear down, but Al noticed, not all the way, only just enough that he could take his cock out comfortably. Ed made his way up with his mouth, kissing the hollow of Al's throat and over his neck as he aligned their bodies and finally, when he kissed Al's mouth again, Ed entered him steadily, no hesitation.

Alphonse wrapped his arms and legs around Ed's back and his waist and he dug his nails in slightly, exhaling deeply and as quietly as he could against Ed's parted mouth as he was penetrated. There was the usual few seconds of tension against the ring of muscle before Edward's cock was sliding in as it always did, smooth and thick and hard and _perfect_.

"You ok?" Ed breathed out the question he _always_ –tediously- asked and Al automatically nodded, keeping his legs hitched around Ed's waist as he slid his hands down the line of Edward's back. He felt the dampness of sweat gathering along Edward's spine as he caressed downwards, all the way until he slid his hands into the back of Ed's lowered pants and underwear, where he squeezed the older blonde's firm ass and pressed Ed closer and deeper into him.

The older blonde exhaled shortly at the sensation of Al taking him in deep and when Al clenched around him purposely. And when Ed adjusted his weight, Alphonse adjusted with him, dropping his right leg from Ed's waist when the older blonde leaned the majority of his weight and leverage onto his left knee. Once Edward was balanced primarily on his left side, his forearm beside Al's head, Ed took a firm hold of Al's left thigh where it was still on his hip and he pressed his cock into Al again, firm and slow, both of them exhaling against one another's mouths at the deep reach and tightness they respectively felt.

The stayed close that way for a moment before Ed drew out at least halfway and then he rolled his hips, thrusting back in carefully, so as not to connect their pelvises in a resulting smacking of their skin.

But despite the gentle caution of his movements, Ed's angle was spot on and Al's prostate was duly stimulated.

Al exhaled a choked curse at the swell of pleasurable hot pressure that jolted outward to his extremities from the deepest place between his legs, a sensation he'd come to find very addicting, and Edward, surprisingly, didn't stall. He set a rhythm for them immediately, a mild but effective impacting force behind his thrusts and a quick pacing to his hips.

Alphonse turned to breathing through his nose as he sealed his mouth to Edward's again, grasping at Ed's ass cheeks tighter still as he wetly tasted the older blonde's mouth. And Edward kissed him back, equally wet, as he moved steadily in and out of Alphonse's silken heat with quick, deft and relentless thrusts.

Al's shoulders and back were starting to hurt from the uncomfortable surface beneath him, but he didn't care and he definitely wouldn't say anything. Nothing would kill Edward's hard on faster than knowing Al wasn't totally comfy, whether or not it bothered Alphonse to be.

Their intimate sounds seemed much louder in the silence than they actually were, so they didn't breathe or make any movements louder than was absolutely necessary…and for Alphonse, the result was that the sex felt more intense in a strange way. It wasn't bad intense, not like that first time between them, when it'd been too quiet and disconcerting and wrong. It was quiet in the way that it felt closer and desperate.

Every swallowed breath and stifled moan, every slip of sweat that made Ed slide too quick so that their skin connected softly, every shift of the mat beneath their moving, sliding, pressing, rubbing bodies, it all felt like stolen moments.

"F-uck…" Edward's breathy curse sounded shaken, his hips picking up speed and getting erratic at certain points and Alphonse knew Ed's orgasm was close. Ed retreated to his usual place then, slowing for a moment to press his face into the side of Al's neck as he placed his other forearm beside Al's head. Ed was slowly rolling his hips, sliding deep and withdrawing slowly as he pressed a few kisses to Al's damp neck. And Alphonse clung to him, tightening himself around Ed's throbbing sex inside him every time the older blonde was fully seated, eliciting a muffled groan from the Edward each time, while the older blonde was gradually working his way back to his former rhythm.

"Hmmm, Ed…" he bucked his hips to meet Ed's when he thrust faster and slightly rougher. And in their increasing ardor, their skin slipped, sweat damp and slippery, to slap a few times loudly. Alphonse didn't care though, his mouth falling open to a silent moan and his breath hitching when Ed angled in and up intentionally, using his right knee to put some more leverage behind his quick –almost all the way in- thrusts, fucking into Al with increased pressure against his prostate.

Alphonse recognized the increasing urgency in Ed's movements and in the way his hand, the one in Al's hair tightened and flexed. Edward was making quiet, throaty little noises against his neck too, hips pistoning just barely short of smacking against Al's thighs and ass. Alphonse had started to shake by that point, the coiling tension and waves of pleasure reverberating in his loins made his legs feel weak and his heart hammer in his chest, heat and need surging and volleying through body urgently.

And Edward's control was just as sexy as the few rare times he lost it during sex.

Al had no idea how Ed could keep his head and careful pace and depth when it took so much more mental effort than it should have for Alphonse to reach between their bodies in order to masturbate himself right then. He grasped with purpose though, stroking himself steadily and pressing his head back onto the mat. Edward exhaled hot and shakily against Alphonse's bared neck, he was thrusting and thrusting and Al vigorously worked his hand over his own cock, which was weeping and hard and getting slippery in his twitching hand.

He wanted to come soon, because Ed wasn't holding back, he was close and Al needed to catch up.

When Edward quickly moved his right hand down to grip Al's hip firmly and he thrust sharp and staccato a few times, the smacking of their skin loud in the quiet, Alphonse felt the rushing flow of his pleasure stop, break and then flood. His breath stuck in his throat and he arched, head, neck and shoulders off the mat, quickening his hand's pace along his erection as his orgasm reeled through him, sudden and forceful from the –so good- stimulation of Ed's cock to his prostate so harshly.

It had been enough of an onslaught to push him over and Ed had probably expected it would, had been aiming for it, because the second Alphonse came and his rectum tightened up, his nails raking up Ed's muscled, sweat damp back to clutch him closer, Edward immediately changed his pace and angle. He started to thrust shallower and faster, as he usually did, taking his pleasure from the spasming grip of Al's rectum as he focused on working the head of his cock into Al's clenching anus.

The height of Alphonse's orgasm had passed by the time Edward's hit him, Alphonse recognized the stutter of the older blonde's hips and thrusts before they turned erratic and uncoordinated and Alphonse trembled pleasantly knowing Ed was coming inside him. Their motion stilled after that and for a while they just breathed quietly together, until eventually Edward shifted, leaning up on his elbows and opening his eyes at half-mast to look down into Alphonse's similar expression.

Al looked over Ed's face as their breaths mingled but the older blonde was unreadable, even as he sniffed idly and leaned down to kiss Alphonse slowly, parting his lips to make it deeper than just a peck. And Al followed quickly, taking Ed's languidly licking tongue into his mouth and caressing Ed's sides with his fingers.

Edward pressed into him again, even though his erection had begun to soften by that point and Alphonse could barely feel him anymore. He broke off from the kiss a moment later, pressing his lips a final time to the corner of Al's mouth before he pulled out. Alphonse didn't move right away, preoccupying himself with watching as Edward sat back on his legs and wiped the smears of Al's ejaculate from his defined stomach and chest with the side of his hand. He wiped his hand off on his jeans next and then proceeded to tuck himself properly into his underwear before refastening his pants,

"You'll clean these up tomorrow?" he asked quietly, glancing at Al and gesturing to his pants.

Alphonse finally pushed himself up into a sitting position then, bringing his legs away from either side of Ed and swinging them over to the side, settling his socked feet in the floor space between their sleeping mats.

"Uh, yeah, of course." he responded equally quiet, having mostly become used to Ed's solemn after-sex demeanor. Ed wasn't a cuddler, not naturally anyway, if Al wanted to lie with him for a while in the aftermath, his best chance would only ever be if he initiated it. And he usually did, but they weren't home right then and it wouldn't be comfortable to lie together on the sleeping mats. So he didn't stop from Edward shifting across onto the other mat, where he lied down on his back and placed one hand behind his head and the other on his stomach, closing his eyes, apparently ready to sleep.

"Night, Al." he mumbled, as per usual.

Alphonse stared at him for a few long seconds, a feeling that wasn't quite anger but also wasn't all that pleasant settling in his chest as he regarded the older blonde. He thought he recognized it as bitterness, but Al didn't want to acknowledge it, lest he give the feeling power over him, lest it become more than just a thought, something real and it would start to open up and infect old wounds anew.

He sighed softly to himself for a reason decidedly attached to the feeling in his chest, and he dropped his gaze to the floor when staring at Ed started to make him want to say something about what he was feeling. He didn't think it would be a good idea, it was late already and they had a lot of travelling to do the next day…and also, honestly, Alphonse just didn't want to bring it up. He just wasn't interested in talking about it.

"Night, Ed." he mumbled back belatedly and absently, his voice just a hint tenser than he was able to help.

He shifted to lie down then, thinking of how much had changed between them for the better. But even though Ed had come around, it was becoming clearer and clearer that just because Ed was willing to sleep with him without any physical hang ups and _claimed_ to be in love with him, it did not necessarily mean a good romantic relationship would form between them. And the word 'claimed' felt like it fit the situation just right, because even though Al was eager to be with Ed, he wasn't blind to the fact that Ed's devotion hadn't originated in the same place it had for him. Al's version of 'in love' was unchanging, whereas Ed's was mercurial and still circumstantial.

Although, it was no longer circumstantial to their brotherhood, and Al couldn't guess what new thing plagued Ed.

And until he did, if he ever did, getting it right between them would take work and patience. At least he knew Edward wanted to be with him, he'd said so, and that meant a lot in the end, even if Alphonse had to remind himself of it in those times when he became aware of a feeling –like bitterness- sitting heavily in his chest and…and knowing what it possibly meant…

Dismissing the thoughts and feelings for the moment, he took in a deep and quiet breath, mentally telling himself that their problems were fixable…just as long as they kept trying.

The one thing he never let himself consider though, was what might happen if –or when- they just couldn't make themselves try anymore.

* * *

Edward wasn't in a great place mentally and the weather wasn't helping.

The following day was unreasonably hot as far as he was concerned but he couldn't say he was surprised, everyday so far of traveling through the desert had been really hot, the nights just cool enough to be a relief, only just though. So the fact that everything after the dessert was hot too wasn't shocking, just really shitty.

In fact, Ed expected the entire trip would be shitty in general.

The idea of taking a break had seemed like a good one at the time, and Al had been so happy too, but when it'd started to sink in, in the days following, that he'd have to be what he was with Alphonse while trying to hide it from Ling and however many other people in Xing, the entire trip started to seem like it was just a fuck up waiting to happen, like something they would both end up regretting. And the resulting stress for Ed in the past few weeks had been affecting him, making him tense and quiet and paranoid, which had put considerable strain on his and Al's very recently and still very tenuously rebuilt relationship…or at least it did for Ed.

Alphonse was either unaffected, or was just content to ignore the tension and pretend like nothing was wrong. And Ed suspected it was the latter. Al had been all smiles just about every day so far, and it wasn't fair, since out of the two of them, Ed was the one who was more confident about being able to hide their secret.

Alphonse was the one who'd had trouble with it in the past, so him being so damn hunky-fucking-dory didn't make sense. And yet he was totally relaxed, which really set Ed on edge, because something felt off about it.

And the weather being the way it was since day one of travelling just pissed Ed off even more, making him unpleasant to be around, and he knew it, he was aware of how moody he'd been and still was while Alphonse was still just ignoring it, like if he didn't acknowledge it then it wasn't happening.

It frustrated Ed on so many levels and after weeks worth of tension build up and that morning's misery, it'd seriously taken all of his willpower to not complain about the stick of dried come and sweat on his skin when he'd woken up on a damn floor mat. And _really,_ Ed was so unused to slumming it that he felt sore all over from sleeping on the uncomfortably hard surface. Maybe he was just getting old, but fuck it, he could have done without the unnecessary stay in Sho…Sha…whatever the fuck the town was called, or he could have done without waking up smelling like stale sex. But to have to endure both? Fuck.

Annoyed as he was though, he didn't gripe about it because he figured that if he was uncomfortable, then Alphonse was probably worse of…because of, well, where _stuff_ ended up for him. To Al's credit though, he seemed unfazed, and in fact, after he'd cleaned their clothes up for the day, his mood had –unsurprisingly- only improved.

It gave Edward mixed feelings as he'd observed Al's chipper temperament from the moment of waking.

He felt a general appeasement from knowing Al was okay, although it was sort of just a default comfort after so long of stressing about whether or not Alphonse was okay almost 24/7. The more prominent feeling though, was the twinge of unwelcome jealousy and vexation he experienced when he considered that maybe Al had –despite having always claimed it was insufficient- used his _alchemy_ to clean himself up bodily as well, and not just their clothes.

But Ed figured it wasn't likely, since aside from when he'd been asleep, the younger blonde wouldn't have had the chance to, and even then, an alchemic reaction would have woken him up. Not that Alphonse had to hide his alchemy or anything, like if he'd wanted to use it to clean himself it would have been fine, but just, Al was so conscious to Ed's lack of alchemy that Ed didn't…doubt, that Al would sneak around to use his own.

And Ed specifically referred to it as **doubt** in his mind, because the other words that came almost unbidden as too quick associations regarding Alphonse –dishonest, selfish, deceitful-, Ed really hated, they all left an uncomfortable desensitized feeling in him toward Alphonse just to think about, just to remember **why** he thought like that at all about his younger brother.

Alas, the consequences of transgressions…

On top of that, he also hated that there was actually good reason for Al sneaking around to use his alchemy, because as much as he tried not to be, Ed felt a little jealous about it sometimes, other times just _really_ nostalgic and…just, ugh, it was complicated, and, wow, was Ed **over** dealing with complicated shit.

There were days, so manydays…almost every day, that he wished his lack of alchemy was still just his secret to keep. Or, his and Mustang's more accurately.

Alphonse knowing about it was only better in limited ways, mostly, him knowing just made life more difficult.

Because Ed felt that his lack of alchemy was an ache that was just better for him to nurse on his own, especially since it was the type of ache that made him vulnerable. And not having alchemy was the emotional personification of vulnerability for Ed, a fact which **no one** had known, not even Roy.

But now Alphonse knew, because Al hadn't been able to let it go once he'd found out.

He'd wanted to know how Ed felt, he wanted to talk about it and share and involve Ed…while never once asking if Edward wanted it that way too. And Ed never said anything, even when it started to become too much, too stifling, too sore…

…and lately, the reason of ' _because I don't want to hurt Alphonse'_ no longer readily sprung to mind at the end of unfinished statements like that one.

Edward took a deep breath and fueled a heavy sigh with it as he blinked once tightly to expel the burden of his fucked up thoughts. That's what shitty mornings did to him lately, they made him _overthink_.

And unwise thing to indulge in under his iffy circumstances.

He was currently walking beside Alphonse in the busier streets of Sha-oh-uh-something and in the morning time people were up and about, the roads not crowded but full. In order to remain inconspicuous as they'd traipsed around the boring little town, because Al had wanted to show Ed some stuff, they still had their hoods up.

Their hair being their most noticeable and outstanding feature to foreigners , wearing the hoods served the dual purpose of hiding their coloring and also keeping Ed from getting sunburned like a motherfucker.

Alphonse was still in a good mood, smiling at a few people who passed by them while Edward could do little else but focus on the weight of his automail leg and the sweat beads rolling down his spine, collecting on his upper lip and along his hairline. Particularly annoying drops would occasionally tickle their way down over his temple and cheek to his neck and he'd harshly wipe at them for the discomfort they caused.

Alphonse had noticed his frustration not long after they'd woken up that morning. Edward knew because the younger blonde had kept glancing at him with a look somewhere between exasperation and amusement, and he was still giving Ed those sidelong looks as they neared the edge of the small village, where they would hire two fresh, travel ready horses and an escort and then be on their way to the next town. Edward wouldn't have minded just making the whole journey and getting it over with in one shot, but Al had explained that it was too far to go without breaks in between and Ed knew his brother knew better, having travelled to Xing before, so he didn't insist.

Presently they'd just walked out past the village limits and were heading in the direction of a horse merchant who was meant to be about a miles walk along the road out. Edward was focusing ahead, watching the heat refracting off the sand and dirt road and he nearly missed it when Al stopped walking.

Stopping a couple of steps ahead of the younger blonde, Ed turned to frown at Alphonse,

"Why're you stopping, Al? I really wanna' get off this damn leg." he gestured ahead to the long walk they still had.

Alphonse glanced off in a different direction though and Ed followed his gaze to the forest that started along the sides of the road and went on to surround the village, stretching into the distance beyond and only ending where mountains rose up in high peaks, disappearing into the clouds.

"I'd like to get cleaned up." Al said unexpectedly and with a slight grimace.

Ed was disinclined to feel sorry for him for various reasons of which all were pretty much the younger blonde's fault. The lack of sympathy for Al was relatively new to him, but the scenario they were in was far from serious so Ed didn't think too much of it. Instead, he wiped at the sweat on his neck –again, and fuck he was probably going to end up with heat rash- and refrained from verbally pointing out that it was Al's fault they were both so uncomfortable and unclean, because complaining about having sex just seemed like a dick move.

Tempering himself, Ed raised an eyebrow,

"Any ideas. I mean, besides a non-private bucket washing system." Ed let himself cringe in displeasure at the idea of it, as that's what their option had been at the boarding house. _Xing_ was turning out to suck so far.

Al nodded, glancing at the village gates aways behind them and then back to the forest as he shrugged,

"You know, most of the baths in Xing are communal-…"

"Uuuughhh-…"

"…relax though, Ed, I have a different idea in mind, something I think you'll be more amenable to." he patted the air with his hand at Edward's very unhappy noise and facial expression.

Edward irritably swiped his sweaty hand over his damp face, exhaling loudly as he shoved his hood off his head and squinted against the sunlight at his little brother,

"And what might that be, Al?" he asked, reaching back to pull at his long braid where it clung to the back of his neck.

Alphonse gestured to the forest, which aside from having a thick tree canopy which would decrease the misery of having direct sunlight beating down on them, Edward was still not _amenable_ to, because it was bound to be damp and unbreathably humid and all foliage smelling inside the forest. And no, just no. There probably wouldn't even be a hint of breeze in the damn dense thicket, so how was that a better idea?

"You want us to travel to the next city through a forest?" he asked in a tone that would let Al know he didn't like the sound of that, "Is there some shortcut through the mountains or some other clandestine shit going on here that I'm completely in the fucking dark abo-…"

"Geez, Ed, shut up for a second," Alphonse frowned and sighed, "please." he added despite the fact that he was glaring at Ed as he wiped the sweat from his face with almost no irritation and **how** the fuck was he so calm in such awful fucking weather!?

They stared at one another for a second and then Ed raised an eyebrow at Al, giving the younger blonde a sign that he was going to 'shut up', but that he was no less expectant of an answer.

Al sighed again, swallowed lightly and then gestured to the forest again,

"About four or so miles into the forest, there's a waterfall." he paused, tilting his head as he watched Ed, who decided to just stay quiet and hear him out, "It's pretty secluded. I only found it by chance the last time I was here and I went exploring in the forest on my own, and both times I visited the waterfall I didn't come across a single other person." he adjusted his large duffle bag on his shoulder. "The water is fresh and probably really chilly since most of the basin is shaded by the drop off," he smiled now, apparently wistful with memory, "the banks are covered in foliage and high trees. It's really beautiful and peaceful, Ed, I think you'd love it." he pursed his lips, looking hopeful.

Edward looked beyond Al to the wall of trees, weighing the options of making Al happy against making himself miserable. It had become a very familiar scenario to do so. Personally, he was unmoved, because he was not a nature boy. Growing up on a farm had been one thing, and then having to camp and travel on foot at times during their quest to get their bodies back had been done out of necessity, but by all other accounts, Edward did not enjoy nature and wilderness.

And especially humid forests, too many memories of Izumi's training and how crappy it'd been on that island.

Maybe he would have felt differently if in his teens he hadn't had to worry about his false limbs breaking and rusting and his crazy…former, mechanic, losing her shit. If none of that had been a factor, he might have enjoyed that sort of thing. But as it were, he didn't.

In the end though, even though he knew he wouldn't _love_ a trip out into the forest, he loved Al.

Also the idea of getting clean in cool water sounded good, so,

"Alright, let's go." he sighed and adjusted his duffle bag on his shoulder, gesturing to Al to lead the way when all the younger blonde did was beam at him with that infectious smile of his.

Edward didn't look too long into his younger brother's gorgeous, beguiling face, rather, he focused on the chance to get clean, hoping that the waterfall was a decent pay off for a four mile walk.

* * *

Edward was expecting to come upon the waterfall from below, especially when they located a steady three meter wide stream of water and Al started following it. Obviously it was meant to lead to the waterfall, but Ed had assumed it would lead to the basin, not to the drop off.

The vegetation was dense around them, but as they'd trailed the stream it had become meted out to lower bushes and trees spaced further apart. Everything was just green and dark soft soil and yes, it was humid as fuck, but Edward pointedly didn't complain since he was trying not to be moody. After all, they were already on the trip, so what was the point of bitching about it?

So, quietly, Ed followed behind Al, his boots sinking into the soft muddy brush underfoot, which made the trudge twice as bad, until eventually, finally, after an hour of walking, Ed was able to hear the sound of moving water pelting a surface. And that was when Al gestured ahead and mentioned that they'd arrived at the _drop off_.

Ed frowned when Al dropped his bag, because really, that was hardly the end of the journey if Al intended for them to wash off in the waterfall basin. How was being at the drop off helpful?

But he hadn't the chance to ask because Alphonse had started stripping.

Ed closed his mouth on his words, glancing at the empty forest around them, ever paranoid, before deciding there was probably no one. So he sighed and lowered his duffle to the ground, figuring the intention then was to wash off in the stream. It made little difference to Ed either way, since he couldn't submerge his automail in too deep water anyw-

"H-hey, Al?!" he yelled in confusion and jogged a few steps forward as the younger blonde –stripped down to nothing but his briefs- ran straight for the drop off, and with a shout of pure joy, off he went, disappearing from Ed's sight. Edward was left gaping and blinking as he heard Al hit the water below after mere seconds, which meant the drop wasn't very high. But that wasn't even the fucking point, the point was that **Edward couldn't leap off a fucking cliff into deep water**.

"…fuck." he huffed to himself. And being alone there with no one to see him, Ed let his shoulders sag and he sat down on the nearest sturdy stream side rock he could find, dipping his hands into the cool water before wiping them over his sweat clammy face and just…taking a moment.

He didn't think it was a good idea for him to dwell on the burn of irritation and annoyance that bloomed in his chest from Al's thoughtless actions, but he didn't try to smother the feeling right away. He let it sit within his chest as he stared at the drop off, thought of how Alphonse failed to think about things, about the next person…about Ed, before he did anything.

Even with everything that had changed between them, there were parts of Alphonse's personality that whether they were always there and just dormant, or had only developed in the last year, they were not good traits.

Edward wasn't sure what to call it, but sometimes Alphonse's lack of remorse for the things he said or did seemed almost pathological. And it concerned him.

He sighed and gathered more water in his hand to rub over the back of his neck, mentally reminding to stay in the present, there and then. Unfortunately, in the present, not only did Al know that Ed couldn't jump after him, he also knew -as of recently- that Ed couldn't even use alchemy to get down there.

Nope, he'd have to fucking hike down and around however steep the side of the drop off was. So the present was shitty, just like the weather and just like the trip through Xing would be.

Ed was aware that he could just go to the edge and tell Al to make a quicker way down for him, but after a tense clicking swallow and clenching of his jaw, he realized that he just didn't want to.

Taking in a deep breath and shrugging off his irritability, Ed stood up, stretched and then grabbed up his bag. He also picked up Al's strewn clothing and the younger blonde's bag too, before he glanced around to suss out a direction. After a moment of deliberation, he started walking left.

He heard Alphonse call his name, a note of clear apology and distress in his tone, and Ed just ignored him.

* * *

By the time he was at the bottom of the drop off, after walking around and down the long way, skirting dense trees and uneven ground, Edward came out literally across from the cliff and waterfall. It had taken him almost a half an hour, carrying both of the bags and navigating with only the sound of the rushing water to guide him, to get down there and by the time he made it, he was too tired to still be angry.

He literally dropped the bags and then sat down on the lightly sloping bank at the far side of the plunge basin with a huffing grunt, before he glanced around the area and tried to spot Al, and said blonde spotted Ed exactly when Ed saw him. Alphonse was sitting on the other bank, up on some rocks, looking as though he'd been sulking, and when he saw Ed he got up quickly, jumped down and made his way over the pebbly wet rocks and brush and the mud of the bank impressively fast on bare feet, so that he could fall to his knees at Ed's side and hug him around his middle, his face buried against Ed's chest,

"I'm so fucking sorry, I didn't think…" no, he hadn't thought, which was disappointingly unsurprising.

But Ed didn't say that to his mumbling sibling.

He just sighed and raised his hands, lightly touching Al's wet hair before he held Alphonse's bare shoulders and pushed him back, because he wanted to look at him to make sure Al hadn't been crying or something, and also because he wanted some space,

"Its fine, Al." he said tiredly, noticing Al's eyes looked dry as the younger blonde frowned sadly at him, "Don't worry about it." Ed added with a barely there smile, because what else was he supposed to say?

Better to just let it go. Spilled milk and all that…

Alphonse didn't look convinced of Ed's forgiveness, but he didn't say so, probably for the same reasons Ed didn't say anything about certain things. Al just frowned a little deeper, looking vaguely guilty, before he sighed it off and stood up, reaching for Ed's hand,

"Come on, you'll feel better once you've cooled down and cleaned up." he said as if his advice was fucking sagely, pulling Ed to his feet and then moving behind to peel his travel coat off his shoulders, Al was trying to get him out of his clothes.

At least his intentions didn't seem sexual, which was good, because Ed didn't think he'd have the energy to fool around right then. And wow, when had he started to feel so old?

He forced himself not to shake his head, because Al would notice and ask too many questions, instead he just resigned himself to helping his younger brother in his endeavor to strip Ed. He shrugged the coat off and let Al take it before he started undressing the rest of the way, peeling his sweat damp T shirt off first. Al didn't linger at least, giving Ed room to fight out of his clingy clothes as the younger blonde grabbed up his own clothes and every item that Ed removed and tossed aside. Once Ed was in only his white boxers, Al took all the clothes over to the water side and he sat down on the shallowly wet bank to start rubbing and then rinsing their clothes.

Ed stretched his aching limbs out while the younger blonde was distracted and busy, and then he walked toward the pool and stepped into the shallow but dark water lapping at the lightly sloping bank,

"How far in before it gets deep?" he asked evenly, because his automail could only be in a water depth of about a meter or so –if Ed correctly remembered Winry's warnings from long ago- before the seals inside the housing of his leg would give under the slight pressure and his leg would be as good as dead weight, completely fucked up.

Alphonse was on his feet quickly, walking further into the water on the bank to check the depth, and when he made it as far as being thigh deep without reaching a sink or edge, he smiled at Ed. He still looked apologetic, and Ed absently wondered why he wasn't so sure of the sincerity in that half-happy half-sad look.

He'd only seen it a million times before. Huh.

"This should be good right, for your leg?" Al asked, shifting so the water rippled around his lean, bare thighs.

Ed was briefly distracted by how tightly Al's wet dark briefs clung to his hips, his ass and his crotch before his eyes drifted up to the younger blonde's face and he nodded at Al, wiping a hand over his mouth as he started to walk further in. The soil under the water, under the weight of his automail, sunk a little more than it did under his flesh foot, but not so badly that Ed was too worried. Still, he didn't go quite as far in as Al had, paranoid about fucking his leg up literally in the middle of nowhere.

Once he was in the water just about knee high, Ed crouched down and then settled on his knees in the chilly water with a relaxed sigh, thinking that yeah, ok, the water was nice, it was a relief after the morning he'd had.

The water was just about waist high when he was kneeling and Ed cupped water in his hands and brought it to his face, rinsing sweat and remnants of sleep away with a few rubs and splashes, dragging his fingers through his bangs and tucking parts of the lengths of hair behind his ears before he moved on to his neck, cooling the itching skin there down with handfuls of water. Next he wet and rubbed at his shoulders and then his underarms. He was just starting to rub water into the skin of his torso, and while he'd been aware of Alphonse placing their wet clothes on a rock nearby where he'd alchemized them all dry, Ed hadn't noticed him coming closer.

So Ed started slightly when he felt smooth, cool hands sliding water over his back and he looked over his shoulder to watch as Alphonse kneeled down behind him.

The younger blonde's legs were settled either side of Edward and he was massaging the moisture into Edward's hot skin with firm palms and soft fingertips.

Edward was tempted to complain about Al's proximity and the fact that anyone might see them, but then when he considered how long the trek out there had been and the fact that it was unlikely someone would find them there, he swallowed his words and settled for an internal sigh, relaxing back into Al's touches.

He and Alphonse had already had one too many tense moments for the day and Ed had to remind himself, again, that he needed to be less irritable. He told himself that most of his bad mood was just down to the travelling, his automail and the hot weather, but there was a part of him that was denying even that.

There was something lurking in Ed's subconscious that told him his disinclination and increasing impatience toward Alphonse's emotional blackmail was coming from somewhere and something uglier that he'd buried underneath the newer more urgent issues that had occurred in his life. It was something that he couldn't identify yet though, and so was unable to deal with. For that reason, he chose to ignore it for the time being.

He sighed again, outwardly this time, and raised his eyebrows lazily as Alphonse's hands slid around his midsection, massaging over his abdomen, long slender fingers tracing the ridges and lines of Ed's defined muscles and Ed could feel Alphonse's breathing becoming deeper, affected, against the back of his neck. It was actually exhausting just how frequently Alphonse got horny, and while Ed knew it was partly because of all the years he'd missed without a body, he also knew it was because Al was young and virile.

' _So what's wrong with me?'_ he wondered with a light frown as he stared down at the water lightly rippling around them. The sound of the waterfall and the insects and animals in the thicket of nature surrounding them created enough background noise to fill the silence and drown out the sound of Al's breathing, but not of the light kisses he'd begun pressing to Ed's neck and just below his ear.

Edward was only a year older than Al, and he knew his own libido should have been just as rife as the younger blonde's…and yet it never had been. Even before the incest, Ed had had sex sparingly, if an opportunity came up and he wanted to take it or pursue it, then he had, but that had been the extent of it.

Being that as it was though, he also knew that the sex he had with Alphonse, while being great, wasn't much like the sex he'd had with anyone besides Alphonse.

Being with Alphonse sexually had…tamed him. His natural proclivity toward his own carnal desires had diminished. Sure, he got aroused and got off like normal, but there was an integral part of his personal virility that was missing.

When he broke it down in his head, which he had done extensively many times in the weeks past, wondering why things felt better between them while also not feeling much better, Ed had been able to determine a few things for sure.

One, he knew that he loved Al, was in love with him –or at least that's what it felt like- which would never change in at least one of those contexts. And two, he'd come to the conclusion that he wanted something with Alphonse, something that wasn't platonic in nature. But contradicting that, the third thing was that being in a romantic relationship with Alphonse made him uncomfortable. The sex aside, he didn't necessarily think they had to have an all-out romantic, illegal, full blown couple like, incestuous relationship, which was really messed up on some level. And more and more, in the weeks since Ed had been the one to tell Al they should be together, with every touch and kiss and 'I love you' breathed against naked skin between them, he'd started to realize that ultimately, he still bore uncertainty.

It was like, Edward really enjoyed kissing Al, and sometimes when they had sex, it was ridiculous how close he would feel to Alphonse. But then, there were other times when Al's touches and come ons just felt, excessive…overcompensating even. Like Al was trying too hard, and so in turn, Edward was too.

It was really complicated and he was having trouble sorting it out, and again, he was so tired of complicated shit.

And then there was the fourth thing…Roy Mustang. Edward was aware that the older man popped into his thoughts far more often than was acceptable. In the weeks past he hadn't seen Roy again, they'd only talked a few times on the phone about potential work contracts and the usual Roy-being-an-idiot related nonsense, but every time they'd talked, Ed had been smiling and his stomach had felt traitorously light. It was no good.

And fourthly, Ed was very discontent with the uncertainty of the future. He didn't like not having a goal.

The incest had literally thrown everything into turmoil, it had derailed Ed and Al's individual plans for their futures and was still doing so.

Alphonse was supposed to have gone to university to study medicine, or he should have gone into tutelage in Xing and studied Alkahestry, to become a doctor one way or another. But instead he was taking time off school to go on trips with Ed for highly questionable reasons. And Edward had wanted to travel, he had places to go and things he'd wanted to do. Researching, designing, physics and science and he was even interested in engineering. But all of those plans had previously been tied in with having married Winry. Not with being in an illegal and twisted relationship with his own brother.

He'd never mentioned it, but Ed had had a decent plan outline for a life with Winry. In their mail correspondence they had discussed the things Ed wanted to do, and also what Winry had still wanted to do, and they'd decided they'd compromise and work around one another. He hadn't strictly wanted kids, but he'd expected he would have had kids with her eventually, maybe once he'd been done with all of the travelling and Winry had established her automail business wherever she'd want it to be permanently. Then they'd have settled down.

And Alphonse would have been a part of that too, but in the normal way a brother was meant to be. He'd have been Ed's best man at the wedding, a great uncle to Ed's kids…but now, Alphonse was the _only_ part of _anything_ in Ed's life.

And the most disconcerting thing was, that while once, as a teen, Ed would have been okay with it just being him and Al, the Elric brothers conquering the world, as he'd gotten older he'd felt like it would have been unhealthy for them to cling to one another like that. But considering how deeply unhealthy what they were doing now was, more and more lately, Ed was thinking about _separation_. And it hurt to think about it, because he never wanted to be estranged from Al, but the same part of him that felt impatient around Alphonse, was the part fostering in him the notion that there was no gray area.

When the time came again for hard decisions, it would have to be black or white. Alphonse or no Alphonse.

A light kiss and his name whispered into his ear made Edward blink out of his unpleasant thoughts, his stomach feeling very much like it was trying to turn in on itself and his eyes burning from having been staring unseeing and without blinking for however long he'd been _overthinking_ things.

"You spaced out, Ed, where'd you go?" Alphonse asked lightly, a soft smile in his voice. Al's arms were now wrapped around his middle, his chin rested on the Ed's shoulder, chest to back, comfortably close and somehow almost natural seeming. And as he had been doing for the past few weeks, Ed made himself smile despite his disquieting thoughts and he shrugged, ignoring the bad feelings floating around in his subconscious yet again.

"Just tired, Al, haven't slept on the floor in years." he made the best excuse he could have and he sounded amused about it. It wasn't even really a lie anyway, he hadn't slept well.

"Don't worry Ed, there'll be beds in the palace." Al said with a soft laugh close to Ed's ear, sweet and familiar.

Ed swallowed with a soft click and allowed himself to lean back into Al's arms, and it wasn't forced exactly, but it did take a little effort to relax the tension in his muscles,

"And what about at all the stops along the way?" he asked with a sincerely dreading tone and Al huffed out another soft laugh that Ed felt through the contact of their bodies, finding the sound and feel of it soothing.

He wondered then, was romantic love the equivalent of being soothed by just someone's laughter, their smile, their voice or their presence? Didn't that mean that since Roy's laugh and his smiles and the sound of his voice and smell of his cologne made Ed's stomach occasionally defy gravity, that he could potentially be in love with Roy? And what about Winry then? When Ed made her happy and she smiled at him, stood close or sometimes it was even just about the way she'd look at him, Ed had always felt like he was doing something right, he'd feel calm and relaxed and some version of happy.

No, it was ridiculous, romantic love could not be those things, they were too simple, they were standard affections…it couldn't be that, being **in love** had to be more.

So what did he even know about being in lov-

"Yeah, a few of them will definitely have beds." Alphonse answered quietly, and the soothing feeling Ed had felt from his laughter was dashed by the suggestive tone Al was now speaking in. "And more privacy." he added after, just as suggestively.

Edward held back a sigh, his mind doing a mile long run through the list of ' _why sex in certain places is a bad idea_ ' for the umpteenth time since before leaving Amestris, and diplomatically, level headedly, Ed decided to approach the situation with the intention of _not_ turning it into an argument,

"Busier stops mean we run a greater risk of being recognized, Al." not to mention that they looked far too much alike to be mistaken for anything but siblings, so sex noises coming from a room they'd share was _unacceptable._ And shit, Al knew these things, it wasn't the first time they were having this conversation.

Alphonse sighed in obvious, expected irritation, as he was far more liberal with expressing his negative emotions than Ed ever allowed himself to be, in fact, Al almost never bothered with tact or sensitivity.

It was a wonder that to outside people, Alphonse was seen as the considerate brother while Ed was the asshole. But when it came to what was supposed to be between them, the closeness and loyalty and trust they were supposed to share, Edward was always the one compromising. He'd only recently started comparing, but when he thought back now to before Al had his body back, Ed realized that the Alphonse in the armor and the one in the flesh seemed less and less alike every day.

And even in that, Ed knew it was because of the incest, it was because of their romantic relationship.

It had changed them drastically like he'd known would happen. And yes, they were really only hurting themselves for the most but…but ultimately, Ed worried that it wasn't sustainable.

It was bound to fall apart at some point because there was a law of averages as well as a law of equivalent exchange, and right then the scales were precariously tipping and something had to happen to restore balance.

And when the balance came, the fall out would be ugly.

He felt Alphonse detach himself, his arms slipping away and the water shifting as he stood up, apparently not pleased with Ed's distractedness and also not interested in having that particular conversation _again_ right then. He was upset, Ed glanced up at him and knew it, read Alphonse's unguarded expressions like an open book and like so many times before, Ed was struck with a weary and unpleasantly familiar guilt at knowing he'd caused it.

And he knew he had to fix it, because he couldn't tell the future, so even though so many things **could** go wrong, Edward would keep trying to make what was going right, work for both of them.

So he reached out and caught Al's wrist, their wet skin sliding together, stopping the younger blonde from walking away as he smiled up at the younger Elric, yellow-gold eyes meeting green-gold,

"But hey, we're alone now, right?" he attempted to sound flirtatious, but it came out sounding more lazily amused than anything else.

Still, Alphonse was broken and damaged enough by their fucked up relationship that he didn't mind the lack of proper sincerity in Ed's words. And wasn't that just a tragedy in and of itself?

The younger blonde smiled, and Ed could see that it was a little forced –because Al knew and Ed knew that something was fractured at their cores and this was just another splint they were applying to keep it together.

So Al's smile was just okay and Ed's offer was just enough and Alphonse nodded as he knelt down again with a soft splash in the water, and with barely a second to take a breath, they were kissing.

Al started it, Ed escalated it, because it'd been his idea and he needed to follow through, Al needed him to.

And it was okay for Ed, because kissing Al and touching his perfect supple skin turned Ed on.

He hated the sin, but he loved the sinner.

And so what if he was never 100 % invested? And so what if Alphonse was accepting far less than he deserved?

For the immediate future, Edward didn't see any other options for them.

Until the breaks, what they had together was all they had in the world.

Their options for lives outside the incest were inconsequential for the time being.

Kneeling there in the cool water and kissing his younger brother like he would a familiar lover, Edward brought his hands up to cradle Al's face as he licked slowly and deeply into Al's mouth, meeting the younger blonde's tongue with each stroke of his own.

And Edward went from kissing to touching with a fluidity and comfort that he'd long since embraced, the likes of which had initially revealed to him that he did in fact have a non-platonic, sexual interest in Alphonse.

He couldn't fake how much he enjoyed running his hands up the smooth, soft insides of his younger brother's lean thighs or how much he enjoyed the shiver and goosebumps it inspired in the younger Elric.

No. He definitely had a sexual interest, even if it was an interest that was deeply conflicted.

Alphonse broke off from the kiss with a short breath as Ed's hand settled on the hard outline of his sex beneath the cotton of his wet, clinging briefs,

"W-wait, Ed, I have an idea." he half whispered as he brought his hands up between them and then together in a loud clap. And before Ed could ask what Al was going to do, he'd placed his hands in the water and the charge of alchemic energy was snapping and surging up around them.

Edward did his best not to feel too painfully hollowed out as the current of alchemy left his hair raised in the energy's wake over his tingling skin. Instead he focused on watching as Alphonse transmuted the bed of the plunge pool so that narrow, round stepping stone platforms surfaced one after the other across the deeper part of the water. The water level lowered briefly before filling again, a result of the bedrock beneath it having been altered by the transmutation.

When Al was done, there were step stones forming a path that led across the water to the rock embankment just beside one end of the falling water, behind which was a shadowed rock shelter.

Edward raised an eyebrow, thinking that Alphonse was nothing if not creatively incorrigible. With a thin smile, Ed wondered whether Al's intention in coming there had been for the purpose and them making it behind the waterfall all along. It wouldn't have surprised him, Alphonse tended to deal in ulterior motives more often than not recently.

Seeing no reason other than the disjointing and unwelcome urge to spite Alphonse, which he was trying very hard not to acknowledge, Edward didn't have an excuse to say no. So he got up and gestured for Alphonse to lead the way before he swished his way through the water until they reached the first stepping stone and carefully, they made their way across.

Once they reached the other side and climbed onto the rock ledge, they were immediately dampened by the faint mist rising from the base of the ribbon falls. The waterfall wasn't a forceful cataract but it was from a high enough drop off that the impact was fairly hard at the base, giving off a fine spray of water.

It was cool and refreshing standing there and Edward blinked his wet eyelashes against the fine spray before wiped a hand over the collected moisture on his face and then over his bare arms and chest, idly looking around at the waterfall and surrounding embankment from the new angle.

Alphonse wasn't wrong about it being peaceful and pleasant there.

Al leaned in closer to speak against his ear over the sound of the water,

"Come on…" the younger blonde's wet fingers slid into his hand to tug him along further under the rock shelter. Edward followed him step for step over the flat-ish rock surfaces between the sharper and more uneven jutting parts, until they were several feet under the shelter and standing in a shallow puddle of water.

"It's nice, huh?" Alphonse asked just audibly, stepping closer and sliding his hands over Ed's bare chest. He was smiling artfully…looking pleased with himself, self-satisfied, and Ed just nodded, managing another thin smile as he placed his hands on Al's waist, "I thought you'd prefer it under here, more privacy." Al said before he leaned in to kiss at Ed's jawline.

Edward's immediate thought in response to that was a sarcastic,

' _Oh, really? How thoughtful of you.'_ but of course, he chose not to say anything out loud, lest his less than agreeable feelings right then toward Alphonse make themselves known in his tone or his expression.

Instead, Edward just angled his head to catch Al's lips in a wet kiss, damp from water residue at first and then after they parted their mouths to one another, damp from their warm breaths and the sliding of their tongues.

Edward was pretty much okay with making out under the waterfall, it was a novel experience at the very least.

The whole experience was muted for him though, less than it probably could have been…with like, someone else…someone who wasn't his own brother.

Despite those negative thoughts though, Edward wasn't deterred from sliding his hands all over Alphonse's bare skin and beneath the younger blonde's underwear, where he groped Al's firm ass and felt up his rapidly hardening cock. His own body responded positively to it, as it had been doing for some time now, a switch between the physical and the mental flipping over in his mind so that he could be sexual with Alphonse without being affected by any lingering concerns.

It wasn't so different than the mental block he'd once had, the one from before Alphonse had fucked up his sexual wiring with Sildenafil. Now it just worked a different way, the positive blocking out the negative for however long Edward was aroused…thereafter, whatever mental desolation he suffered was a different story.

Alphonse was moaning softly into his mouth between and during kisses, holding on with an arm around Ed's shoulder while his other hand was down the front of Ed's boxers, pumping the length of his erection teasingly.

And Edward recognized the signs of Alphonse getting too eager, getting **ideas** , so he was actually expecting it when Al breathed out against his mouth,

"Can we…?"

The ' _have sex_ ' part went unsaid, because Ed knew what Al wanted, and just like Ed had expected him to ask, Alphonse was expecting the answer,

"Sorry, Al..." and the ' _no lube, no sex_ ' end to that apology went unsaid as well.

There was a tense moment then of them breathing into one another's mouths, their hands idle down one another's pants and Ed looking straight into Al's eyes as the younger blonde seemed to be considering something.

And it came as a dull shock to Ed's system…when a somewhat inimical smile crept slowly onto Alphonse's handsome face, his eyes narrowing slightly and tracking over Ed's face.

Ed stared back at him, calculating the extent of what he was seeing in Al's face as his vague shock faded. He glanced from Al's pretty pink smiling mouth to his sharp green-gold eyes and just as easily as the expression had come across Al's face, it was gone and in its wake, a insincerely sweet grin was left,

"What do you wanna' do then?" Al sounded quiet, falsely placated as he pressed their bodies together, slipping his hand down to gently roll Ed's balls in his damp palm.

He was being intentionally distracting, leading…manipulative. Trying to misdirect Ed's attention from whatever frigid _thing_ has just passed between them. Ed wasn't stupid.

He smiled as well, contrived and close lipped, a cold shiver moving down his spine despite the heat between their bodies as he was once again forced to acknowledge just how much Alphonse had changed…how much he himself had changed too.

They were different people, more so toward one another than to complete strangers.

What he'd seen in Alphonse's face just then only served to confirm what Ed already knew…something ugly was coming, and there would be casualties. He and Alphonse amongst them.

But…that was a concern that Edward couldn't do anything about presently.

The only thing he had to worry about right then was his armful of a gorgeous and horny Alphonse, and **that** , he could do something about. What good would it do him, worrying about something he had no means of controlling?

Deciding that, Edward pressed their unsettling smiles together for a short kiss and then with his eyes dead on Al's, he mumbled,

"I'll take care of you, Al." in a quiet voice, his whisper hiding the underlying emotions of disappointment and regret he felt, hiding the pained tell in his voice that said _'while I still can_.'

Alphonse didn't say anything in response and even as Edward pushed Al's clinging wet briefs down over his straining cock and his lean thighs, and he slowly lowered himself down onto his automail knee in a half crouch, the younger blonde's lying smile didn't change, nor did his subtly bitter gaze waver.

There was anger in the lines at the corners of his stunning eyes, and resentment in the curve of his kissable mouth and Edward was not afraid of it, not as he'd once been.

Physics dictated to Ed that a rift and far reaching destruction was inevitable in the aftermath of two equal forces hurdling into one another at unnatural speeds. Parts of their whole forms would break away, shatter, sending debris flying in every direction and whatever was left intact would be propelled in opposite directions after they collided.

There would be no escaping it. Something had to give.

And Edward hated that he knew it needed to happen.

Because while the Elrics had once been able to save other people's lives…they needed help to save their own.

* * *

_Heaven sent and halos twisted_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm now on [Tumblr](http://phenobarbitalfiction.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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